<form name="scriptform"><input name="scriptinput" size=70 style="border-width:1px solid black;font:Arial"> <input type="button" value="Random" onClick="randomdisplay()"></form> <script> //Satirical Punch Line Script- by javascriptkit.com (text by Colin Lingle) //Visit JavaScript Kit (http://javascriptkit.com) for script //Credit must stay intact for use quotes = new Array(); quotes[0]="Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."; quotes[1]="Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?" quotes[2]="Give me ambiguity or give me something else." quotes[3]="I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!" quotes[4]="We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse." quotes[5]="Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand." quotes[6]="Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!" quotes[7]="Did anyone see my lost carrier?" quotes[8]="Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot." quotes[9]="I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!" quotes[10]="He who laughs last thinks slowest!" quotes[11]="Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." quotes[12]="Save the whales, collect the whole set" quotes[13]="A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries." quotes[14]="Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." quotes[15]="There's too much blood in my caffeine system." quotes[16]="Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity." quotes[17]="Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now." quotes[18]="Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." quotes[19]="I wont rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it." quotes[20]="Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I." quotes[21]="Double your drive space - delete Windows!" quotes[22]="What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?" quotes[23]="If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic." quotes[24]="Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." quotes[25]="Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." quotes[26]="Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." quotes[27]="Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector." quotes[28]="I used to have a handle on life, then it broke." quotes[29]="Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive." quotes[30]="I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it." quotes[31]="A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." quotes[32]="Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot." quotes[33]="The gene pool could use a little chlorine." quotes[34]="When there's a will, I want to be in it." quotes[35]="Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?" quotes[36]="Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs." quotes[37]="I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar." quotes[38]="We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?" quotes[39]="All generalizations are false, including this one." quotes[40]="Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." quotes[41]="C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit." quotes[42]="Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy." quotes[43]="640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81" quotes[44]="90% of all statistics are made up" quotes[45]="A man needs a good memory after he has lied." quotes[46]="A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over." quotes[47]="A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience." quotes[48]="Apple copyright 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve" quotes[49]="Apple Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton." quotes[50]="Bad knee, gotta run - Pat Buchanan to his draft board" quotes[51]="Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x10 do?" quotes[52]="Beulah, peel me a grape." quotes[53]="Bother, said Pooh as the brakes went out!" quotes[54]="Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg." quotes[55]="C++ should have been called B" quotes[56]="COINCIDENCE happens." quotes[57]="Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!" quotes[58]="Careful. We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin" quotes[59]="Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery." function randomdisplay(){ randomquote=quotes[Math.floor(Math.random()*quotes.length)] document.scriptform.scriptinput.value=randomquote } setTimeout("randomdisplay()",100) </script> <p align="center">This free script provided by<br /> <a href="http://javascriptkit.com">JavaScript Kit</a></p>