Cut & Paste Crystal Ball

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Cut & Paste Crystal Ball

Credit: Michael McDermott

Description: Looking for a little guidance in life? Look to Michael's crystal ball script for the answers! Responds to any "yes/no" question you may have.

Example:

Crystal Ball

Please enter a yes/no question and it will respond

Warning: the crystal ball has a tendency to be sarcastic!

Directions

Simply insert the below into the <body> section of your page:

<table border="0" bgcolor="#000000" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3"> <tr> <td width="100%"> <p>Crystal Ball</p> <p>Please enter a yes/no question and it will respond</p> <p>Warning: the crystal ball has a tendency to be sarcastic!</p> <table width="40%" border="0"> <tr> <td> <form name="input1" method="post"> <input name="textfield" size=63> </form> </td> </tr> </table> <table width="8%" border="0"> <tr> <td> <form method="post"> <input type="button" name="button1" value="Ask Me!" onClick="getAnswers()"> </form> </td> </tr> </table> <script language="JavaScript"> //Crystal Ball Script - By Michael McDermott (mcdemf1@wfu.edu) //http://www.wfu.edu/~mcdemf1 //Visit JavaScript Kit (http://javascriptkit.com) for script function getAnswers() { time = new Date() randominteger = time.getSeconds() if (document.input1.textfield.value == "") { alert("You dummy! You didn't enter anything into the Crystal Ball!!!") return } if (randominteger <= 3) answer="Did you really think so? Hahaha, I'm laughing now at your pitiful chances." if ((randominteger >= 4) && (randominteger <= 6)) answer ="Yeah, it it's got a 65% chance of happening." if ((randominteger >= 7) && (randominteger <= 9)) answer ="Oh come on! No way!" if ((randominteger >= 10) && (randominteger <= 12)) answer ="As sure as I'm made of glass, this is likely to happen." if ((randominteger >= 13) && (randominteger <= 15)) answer ="Why are you asking A CRYSTAL BALL? Do you really believe the answers?" if ((randominteger >= 16) && (randominteger <= 18)) answer ="Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that NO!" if ((randominteger >= 19) && (randominteger <= 21)) answer ="Good chances lie on the horizon." if ((randominteger >= 22) && (randominteger <= 24)) answer ="Ask me again, I am restless and overworked." if ((randominteger >= 25) && (randominteger <= 27)) answer ="Do you know how the Crystal Ball works? There's your answer." if ((randominteger >= 28) && (randominteger <= 30)) answer ="As the sun is hot, your answer is YES." if ((randominteger >= 31) && (randominteger <= 33)) answer ="Did you get drunk last weekend? There's your answer." if ((randominteger >= 34) && (randominteger <= 36)) answer ="Forget about it" if ((randominteger >= 37) && (randominteger <= 39)) answer ="Yeah, it could happen. 80% chance." if ((randominteger >= 40) && (randominteger <= 42)) answer ="Hitler has a better chance of raising from the dead." if ((randominteger >= 43) && (randominteger <= 45)) answer ="If you really think so, then it shall be." if ((randominteger >= 46) && (randominteger <= 48)) answer ="Who said ambiguous answers were bad? Not me, so YES!" if ((randominteger >= 49) && (randominteger <= 51)) answer ="You think I'm going to answer that after a day of hard work? Ask again later." if ((randominteger >= 52) && (randominteger <= 54)) answer ="If you own a pet, yes. Otherwise, no." if ((randominteger >= 55) && (randominteger <= 57)) answer ="The sun will rise in the east and set in the west. Thank you Captain Obvious. YES!" if ((randominteger >= 58) && (randominteger <= 60)) answer ="I'm laughing hard, very hard. You'd better ask again." var newWindow = window.open("","Results","width=300,height=300") newWindow.document.write("<html><body bgcolor='#000000' text='#FFFFCC' link='#00FFFF' alink='#000066' vlink='#6666FF'>") newWindow.document.write("<P align='center'>Your Question:</P><P></P>") newWindow.document.write("<P align='center'>" + document.input1.textfield.value + "</P>") newWindow.document.write("<P></P><P></P><P></P><P align='center'>The Great Crystal Ball Has Answered:</P><P></P>") newWindow.document.write("") newWindow.document.write("<P align='center'>" + answer + "</P>") newWindow.document.write("<P></P><P></P><P align='center'><A HREF='javascript:window.close()'>Close Me</A></P>") } </script> </td> </tr> </table> <p align="center">This free script provided by<br /> <a href="http://javascriptkit.com">JavaScript Kit</a></p>

You may want to start out by asking "Does this thing really work?"

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